On April 5, Easter Day, my family went to go visit my grandfather at his grave. If you didn’t know, my grandfather passed away last year on March 26, 2014. I miss him and so going to see him after a whole year is crazy. You can read about last year’s events here: A Majestic Funeral. I forgot that I had written a short note to my grandfather at the end of the post and it just brought tears to my eyes because I do miss him greatly still. I think that the year that has passed since his passing has really made me think about what is best for me. You may not think that living on this Earth for 80 years, if you are lucky, is so short but I am already realizing how fast time is going.

I got ready Sunday morning and didn’t put on makeup after contemplating because as much as I didn’t want to cry, I knew I would. I put on a dress that would be washed once I got back home, a Chinese tradition apparently. We bought my grandfather Bojangles, his favorite place to go every week, and put that in front of his gravestone along with some fruit. We burnt incense, three each, and set it down in the soft ground. My grandfather’s gravestone had Chinese engraved along with an old school television at the bottom and a picture of him at the top. The gravestone looked well kept since my dad and aunt waxed and sealed the gravestone shortly after it was placed on site. We paid our respects while two other groups were also paying their respects, they could not be more different. One group invited a bunch of people to have a small gathering picnic of sorts while the other was more traditional. Both made a lot of commotion while we stood there and took time out for my grandfather since it would take an emotional toll on us to visit more often even if we wanted to.

We paid respects to my great Uncle, great-great grandmother, and some family friends.

Thinking about my grandfather and typing all of this makes me extremely sad and I am crying because I think about the year that has passed and the fact that my grandfather didn’t get to see my brother graduate college, he won’t get to see me graduate college, he won’t get to see the house my sister lives in part time, he won’t get to know that my brother and I got out license (he often asked if we were driving yet), and so many more things from the lives of his grandchildren that he won’t know. I know that those could be seen as more superficial things but since there was a language barrier between us, my siblings and I lacking in Chinese proficiency and my grandfather not speaking English at home, really put a divide. I think that I still had a really great relationship with my grandfather though and I am happy with all of the time that I got with him.

Grandfather William,

This is your granddaughter and I miss you. I am still doing well and I got accepted into another college! It was really hard for the first couple of months, knowing you were gone, and I often get sad with tears in my eyes when I think about you but I don’t want you to worry. Thank you for being an inspiration of strength that I strive to now.

Your granddaughter,

Tiffany

-The Mermaid Network