If you want to get the “advice” part skip down to the 4th paragraph!
I am not new to this kind of situation. I have had this happen when I was in fourth grade and you might be thinking that I was too young but even then I could tell that there are those guys who will take advantage of your friendship if they know that you have a friend who is “hotter” than you or is more attractive to them. The sad thing about both of these events is that I liked them and they would give me attention until they met my friend. The fourth grade one is just a foolish little crush but it was “real” to me at the time. I want to talk about the recent events…
So, as you probably will realize, this involved 24 and the girl who I have been jealous of because she has everything from acting, personality, and talent. I think that you will remember the time I went to the movies, if you haven’t it was a relatively quick post. I didn’t really go into too much of the fact that he had wanted to sit with the girl…let’s give her a nickname, I think I gave her the nickname Pinkie…if not, there we go.
Pinkie and 24 from the sounds of it had hit off and when I found out that 24 liked Pinkie I knew that it was a losing battle to compete. I am not saying that I am a quitter but I have liked him for over two years now and if nothing happened then it won’t happen now. We are much better as friends and I think that it is a good thing to have that someone of the opposite sex that can be there for you without anything being taken out of context. I have acutally pushed them a little bit to get together because they would be a good couple, she is outgoing and he is adventerous. They would find something more in common and as I have gotten to know 24 more so now I know that they have some common interests.
NOW, after that long speech about them and how I feel…talking to a guy who likes your friend can become dangerous territory. You cannot play matchmaker for them if
1. You still like him so much that you will play mind games.
2. Back talk and tell the other person that they like the other and get mixed in as the middle man.
3. Tell them they should get together and once they do, sabotage their relationship.
Wait, how would I know? It is because I had thought about those three things long and hard and if I was in a relationship with someone and out mutual friend was trying to get us together only to break us apart.
I will say now that I still like 24 no matter what I have mentioned in the past and I think it is more of the liking them as a friend because he means a lot to me as my few close friends. I have told him things that is hard for me to tell a lot of people. However, I wouldn’t want to be that person who would play mind games and hint that I want to be in a relationship when I don’t. I don’t think that it would be fair because I am not ready for a relationship since I am mainly focusing on my career and my personal health more than anything else right now.
Talking behind someone’s back is one of the worse things that a person can do. I hate it when people are so nice and then talk crap about them to someone else. I admit that I do not like some people but that doesn’t mean that I am not polite and try to tell them my problems with them in a “safe zone” because I think that there aren’t enough people who are willing to tell each other their flaws but in a calm and mannered way. I also don’t want to be stuck as a middle man in a situation because that means walking on egg shells to make sure the other doesn’t know you have told them whatever information you have gathered.
I think that #3 is the most important because if you asked me two years ago I would have told you that I was that person who asked my friend if she had done something more than hang out and 24’s house. I was really young and not that smart when it came to friendships and relationships. Right now, after seeing more of the world, as it were, I feel that it is really naive to tell someone that they can’t see the other person or try to place doubt in a relationship, it is not healthy for them or you.
Hope that this helps and apologize that it is so long!!