Above: Basically all my interactions, awkwardness included, with the male species…
So if you had my post I Don’t Read “24” or want to it is linked.
I think that both male and female can relate to the fact that the thoughts of “I don’t know what this means?” comes up. Is that just me? Okay…bye. Just kidding. I normally can’t hold a text conversation with a male for more than five minutes and that is just because I overthink things. I kind of fall off the face of the conversation. Anyway, I don’t really know how to react when it comes to “24” since we had a relatively long text conversation.
First he greets me and so I just let it slide that he unintentionally “friend-zoned” me by saying that he was looking at something on a family vacation for me that I had mentioned just because I have been wanting the item forever. I definitely overthought that, but when I left to go eat dinner after a couple of texts, he had texted me six times. Six times Fleeters! I mean, three to four were just my name because he had texted at different incriments but still… then he claimed I forgot about him.
To me, it is hard to define what “24” means to me but I do know that it has always been hard for me to talk to males but I have good friends that are males. I know I have never been as close with a male as “24” in the sense that I feel that I can talk to him.
I like to live by “Honest is the best policy.” and for me, when someone, not just males, asks me a question I answer them honestly unless it is something that they don’t need to know. Sometimes I come off as too honest but if you asked me something like what I really think about you, I will tell you what I really think about you and hope that you can understand where I am coming from. I do my best not to take into account what people say about other people because I don’t know that person personally.
So, after reassuring him that I didn’t forget about him. I told him that he is “special” to me in life. I think that saying that could have gotten me into dangerous territory but I kept it simple. I don’t say that someone is in my “secret circle” or sorts unless I mean it and I think about all the males I can talk to and if I spent more time with him he would be someone I would probably spill my guts to. You might be wondering, “You just said he was part of your ‘secret circle’.” Well, yes, he is but there is always a process of testing out what he does with the information. I start out with things that I don’t tell friends who I know from my major or anything. I say things that are important to me, my anxiety, my fears, things that others with bad intentions would hold or use against me. I know those people out there and I know I wouldn’t trust anything like that with them, even something so simple as my fears of social interaction, it really isn’t simple but someone like that would just force me into situations (it has happened before).
Sorry about going back and forth but I hope I didn’t lose you yet!
I decided to take my policy of living honestly and tell him that I do have a hard time talking to people and even to him. I didn’t tell him, yet, that I get social anxiety because that is something that is deeper and better for a face-to-face conversation. You know what he texted back? He texted back that I was being silly and that if I ever felt awkward or socially inept that he wouldn’t judge me on that. I just get a lot of anxiety having one-on-one interations with friends, even my “secret circle”.
He questioned heavily if he was really that special to me and, at first, thoughts of my liking him flooded in but my friendship with him was more than that of a simple hello-goodbye, it was something special that I wanted to have.
Part 2 tomorrow since this has gotten really long!!