I have always struggled talking in front or around people. It isn’t my “thing”. In third grade I wasn’t allowed to go on a field trip because I didn’t present my project. For the couple of kids who stayed behind and myself, I had to present in front of them and practically cried throughout the whole presentation because I didn’t want to present. I cried every morning until about seventh grade because I didn’t want to leave the confines of my house and be around people. Looking back on those two specifically, I just knew that I didn’t want to be in an environment where you had to be around people. I still have some issues with that but it isn’t bad like that anymore…well, I did cry when I first moved into my dorm. The idea of being apart from my structure and normalcy scared me to death.

I always thought I was just a crybaby as my parents liked to tease me for but then I thought about it more and wondered if it is something more than I thought. I say often when parties or get together occurs that I have social anxiety to my brother and sister who don’t understand why it is so hard for me to hang out with friends. I tell them that it is just really hard for me to be around people, even friends, I am super close to.

Not that I can spend the money on a doctor to tell me if I have social anxiety. I decided to look up social anxiety and came across the…

LIEBOWITZ SOCIAL ANXIETY SCALE (LSAS-SR)* [click the title to take the test yourself!]

Your Score: 91 

What the score means:
Social anxiety disorder has been divided into subtypes:

1. a generalized subtype, in which the individual experiences significant anxiety in most social situations
2. a subtype that applies to various specific phobias such as public speaking, eating in public, or urinating in a public facility or when others are waiting.

Score 90 or higher SAD extremely probable 
Scores in this range often are accompanied by great distress and difficulty in social functioning, and are also commonly seen in persons entering treatment for the generalized type of SAD.

So I guess I have my answer from an internet source. Still…I will hopefully be able to get over this anxiety soon because I don’t want to lose the time I could spend having fun in life worrying and being scared to do exactly that.

-Fleeting Mermaid