Low cellphone ringing.

I am groggy.

Why is the cellphone ringing so quietly? I realize the ringer must be low but a sinking feeling washes over me, just ever so slightly. I answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“[Insert my Chinese name], Grandpa died.” My mother says. My mind doesn’t comprehend what she is saying, did she say, “Good morning”?

“What?”

“Grandpa is dead.”

“It’s Grandpa, he is dead.”

“What?” I don’t understand… “Where is dad?”

“Not dad, your grandpa is dead.” My mother sniffles.

“I know. Where is dad?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to call you and let you know that he is dead. Okay? I just wanted to let you know.” Why am I not crying?

“Okay.”

Click.

I lie on my stomach for a couple of minutes and take out my iPad. I start to play My Little Pony and in my mind I am wondering, Why are you not crying? then my body aches and tells me it needs to use the bathroom. I get out of my bed and walk to the communal bathroom. I wash my hands and begin to brush my teeth, a tear falls. Another. Another. Another. I walk back to my room and the tears continue to flow down my face.

———————————————-

My grandfather passed away this morning. Above is the true account of what I did this morning and how I processed this information. My mind was foggy and I guess finally using the bathroom woke me up enough to realize my mother’s words.

-Fleeting Mermaid