Location of Disdain

You may remember my first post if you have followed me since last week, Falling Back. I spoke about feeling jealousy and I have been around that person more and I have found out the real reason and it leads back to my insecurity. I am afraid that my own professors will favor her more than me and that worries me because I have focused on my area of emphasis and done what I think is the most genuine part of me since I can remember.

I think that this person is good and all but. I know that they are truly in love with acting from what I have seen but what I have also seen is that they don’t want to hone in on the talent that they have, they just want to wing it when they perform. Now, you may be thinking that this is really personal, but this is not anything this person has told me, this is all from observation and the basics that they love acting.

I think that she has a very outgoing personality and that is what will hinder me because they might find that more “appealing”. However, I refuse to change just because there is someone who is going into my field. I am going to be myself because I have changed myself back when I was younger and I felt extremely fake. I refuse to fall back into that state of mind where I have to be more than what I am.

I am a focused individual who enjoys what I do and loves it with so much passion that I would be lost without it.

Sin of the Day: Pride.

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