Unfortunately my first post will be one of a feeling I am not fond of in the least and that would be disdain. I have honestly tried so hard not to fall back into feeling so. However, I feel as though I must be honest. The person I am referring to is a great actor and yet they choose to come into my focus area. I understand expanding upon talents but this person, to me, makes me feel disdain towards them. I truly like this person but she has no clue how it is that I am so utterly annoyed that they are coming into “my” territory.
I know you are probably thinking that it is childish and that may be so but if you want honesty, there it is.
Working with this person on multiple occasions through class and in general, I don’t think that they have the mind set to be able to comprehend all the aspects of my area. I do my best not to judge and I am not typing the above as a permanent judgement. I am typing the above because it is what I ave observed. Feeling that disdain because of what I have observed makes me feel like I am falling backwards.
I hate feeling as though I am am awful person and you could say that I am only being human or it is just jealousy. However, I feel as though jealousy holds a sense of insecurity and that is not something I want to keep feeling. I am competent at what I do and I am not the most famous artist but that doesn’t mean anything. I want to feel secure in what I am doing and I an deeply saddened that I would see a person who has been kind to me as someone who causes me disdain.
I am not claiming to be a perfect person who only writes about the good things in life. I want to be a person who openly expresses the good and bad because I feel that will aid me to grow as a person.
Sin of the Day: envy